Phase XXV : Nebraska 2 and Iowa

This entry is shamefully late due to technical difficulty.  Some of that difficulty involved my own limitations; some of that can be blamed on "why is cord?" type error.

But here we are.  The next leg of the trip is about to start tomorrow, and I'm finally revealing how the last leg ended... last month.

Anyway.

After Kansas, we jotted back into Nebraska, because I had this weird need to see Omaha, and it was a great way to seg over to Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, and Home.

Omaha is really very transparent and sincere about its situation.  That being said, compared to the Jesus-filled fields of Kansas, it was kinda cool to see buildings and structures and people.

Our first stop was to Zip Line Brewery, which included a wrong turn into someone's driveway.  They didn't even set down their beer before they started chasing us back to the main road.  Sneaky Van People.  We just think we can show up anywhere... .

Zip Line, though.  Once we arrived at the correct location, I was very quickly and very fully impressed.  We talked camping with our compatriots, and enjoyed a brand-new release beer dedicated to the Red Panda at the Omaha Zoo.  It was very, very tasty.

We followed Zip Line with take out Vietnamese, including some incredible pho, and a spicy shrimp and rice dish.  We devoured our food in a sketchy hotel room with American Pickers on the sketchy hotel tv, basking in the loud air conditioning that is the hallmark of every sketchy hotel room.

The Omaha Zoo kept coming up, like some sort of non-frightening, adult version of Bloody Mary.  Say it three times into a glass of beer, and BOOM! you have tickets.

Of course, the next morning, thunderstorms began almost the same instant we stepped out of the hotel.  Ryan and I spent a significant amount of time rending our clothes and rolling our eyes before we decided to hit the brewery first, then see what the weather was doing.

Nebraska Brewing Company receives mixed reviews, but I have an open mind.  I grabbed a glass of their special limited-release-barrel-aged-whatchamacallit, and it was fabulous.  I believe it's on Ryan's Untappd, if you need the name.  I was too busy enjoying.

We ordered a Hawaiian pizza and some nachos, because we're predictable.  What ensued was the most controversial nacho picture I have ever posted.  I posted on Instagram and Facebook, and the negative comments began rolling in immediately.  The general consensus was that the nachos looked like vomit, and how DARE I eat something so gross.  I will be the first to admit that nachos are a food that does not necessarily photograph well.  I will also loudly proclaim that I have limited photographic skills.  I did not expect backlash from what I thought was just another nacho picture.  So, if you are not faint of heart, keep scrolling, and view this controversial, disgusting nacho picture is all of its gory glory.

There ya go.  Thank you for being so brave.

Having eaten our nachos and consumed our beer, the rain subsided, and we headed out for the zoo.   Typically, I'm not a "Zoo Person."  I'm not really into looking at animals languish in boxes.  The mission statement for the Omaha Zoo (properly known as the Henry Doorly Zoo and Aquarium) is directed towards preservation, conservation, and education, which I can appreciate.  I was very impressed with the design and layout of enclosures to match what the individual animals might find stimulating in the wild.

I was also very impressed with how absolutely idiotic some people were.  Honestly, it was like the zoo attendees paid an entrance fee to a contest to see who could be the biggest imbecile.  Pounding on glass, shouting, trying to throw things at animals, attempts to climb into the enclosures, and my personal favourite- a dude very loudly trying to do a drug deal while pushing a stroller holding a screaming baby.  One child screamed so loudly at the vultures that he knocked himself silly and almost passed out.  How unfortunate.

So, before I get myself all worked up again, here are some majestic animal photos:

The zoo has a walk-through lemur enclosure, which was very cool.  One lemur stood right by the entrance- a sort of fuzzy and feral welcoming committee.  I very cautiously observed and photographed said lemur, then let it have its space.  One of the zookeepers approached us and asked if we had seen any lemurs yet.  "Oh, just that guy by the door," Ryan replied.  The zookeeper took off running towards the lemur, who was trying very hard to escape.

This zoo was unique in that there were indoor facilities.  I deeply enjoyed the Desert complex and, of course, the aquarium.

We ended up picking up a Red Panda stuffie at the gift shop, since we had enjoyed the Red Panda beer and seen the Red Panda habitat.

And then it was off through the drizzle to Iowa!  Thankfully, the rain let up before we found camping for the night, so I managed to crack off a quick picture of sunshine while updating the blog in my underwear in the van.  Naturally, as I was doing so, a truck full of people and cars appeared from nowhere, and one of the dogs tried to jump into the van.  I am grateful that the dog ran off before its humans could judge me on my undergarment choices.

So.  What do you do in Iowa?  The bartender at Nebraska Brewing recommended a shop that had over 200 beers on tap, which sounded great, but we had to "DO" something first.

Ryan came up with this great plan to do the covered bridge tour, and I don't remember necessarily agreeing to this plan, but I also probably just shrugged when he mentioned it.

The interesting thing about The Bridges of Madison County is that they are covered in graffiti that isn't terribly old.  Some of them have guest books you can sign.  Also, they all look exactly the same.

Again, I'm not blessed with rampant photography skills, so trying to make covered bridges look interesting was abundantly challenging.

Ryan kinda picked up on the fact that I wasn't entirely thrilled, and thus, we drove down dirt roads through corn that was high as an elephant's eye (wrong state) until we reached El Bait Shop.

Just cycle those photos over and over again for a few hours, and you have a pretty good picture of Iowa.  Picturesque?  Certainly.  Serene?  Of course.  Fascinating?  Now, I'm a good Midwesterner, and I worship my corn, but come on.

Meanwhile, El Bait Shop has 262 unique beer options.  And jalapeno-stuffed, bacon-wrapped, cheese-covered tater tots.  And cheese sticks that do not compare in size to any of my body parts.

After stocking up on beer and cheese, Ryan and I looked at each other, shrugged, and unanimously voted on going home.  Technically, we didn't have to be back until the beginning of August, but we were ready.  We didn't want any bed but OUR bed, in OUR room.  OUR toilet.  Staying perfectly still.  Cuddling with our cats.  I wanted to see my horse.  I wanted to take my mother out for her birthday.  It just made sense to go home.

We drove as far and as fast as Vincent could muster, but Ryan ran out of enthusiasm somewhere in Illinois.  I think.  I immersed myself in reading blogs and fell into some kind of worm hole that Ryan interrupted at three in the morning by stating he was going to lie down in the back for a bit.  That was my first time sleeping at a truck stop, and honestly, it wasn't that bad.  I woke up at 5 and had Ryan walk me to the bathroom, but nothing awful happened, and we immediately fell asleep again, safe and sound.

And then, after a few hours, there it was:  My front door.